What were our favorites from last year? Here’s our breakdown in no particular order.

Megan’s Top 3

1. Mythmakers by John Hendrix
2. Van Gogh Has a Broken Heart by Russ Ramsey
3. Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
4. Runner up: The Faithful Spy by John Hendrix

Lance’s Top 3

1. Descent into Hell by Charles William
2. Yours, Jack by C.S. Lewis
3. The Faithful Spy by John Hendrix
4. Runner(s) up: Tie between Symphony for the City of the Dead by M.T. Anderson and The Wilderking Trilogy by Jonathan Rogers… and Mythmakers…

Overall

Megan read:

• 36 books- 8,363 pages read
• 4 biographies
• 8 non-fiction
• 5 graphic novels

John Hendrix does some amazing artwork. Anything by Hendrix should be on your to-be-read list. I love books with beautiful art so graphic novels have been super enjoyable to read. Other favorite authors this year were, Katherine Paterson and Andrew Peterson. I usually enjoy and am encouraged by biographies but I read a couple this year that were just meh. I do not recommend Peter Pan or From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler. We listened to quite a number of books this summer on our road trips; we particularly loved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and The Wilderking Trilogy, such great audiobooks. I do tend to read a bunch of YA books because I do like to preview books for our family, maybe that’s “cheating” in terms of number of books read but I still think it counts. I didn’t get to read any books in verse but hopefully I will remedy that this next year.

Lance read:

• 22 (fun) books- 4,612 pages
• 2 Graphic novels
• 4 Spiritual Direction

Yours, Jack, spiritual direction in the letters of C.S. Lewis, was full of book recommendations for those he corresponded with. Not only was this book an interesting read and a helpful insight into more personal understandings of Lewis’ thoughts, but it was a treasure trove of new reading for me. I have only scratched the surface. I started with a recommendation he made of a book by a fellow, though intermittent, Inkling (the group that Lewis and Tolkien started, and beautifully described in Mythmakers), Charles Williams. He is one of the more controversial members of the Inklings due to his theology and ideas… and Tolkien didn’t like him. However, Decent into Hell was a beautifully written book in which the physical and metaphysical worlds merge, and people’s inner spiritual and character makeup begins to manifest physically. I would not recommend this book to everyone. However, if the word “metaphysical” does not scare you and actually brings a bit of intrigue, this is a read for you. I will likely be reading it again in the next couple of years. As usual, my reading was more like mining gold veins from one book and author to the next. So, not super wide, but further up, and further in. (We finally finished Chronicles of Narnia with the Boys. It was a great delight to share with them one of our favorite series of all time.)

For Lent this year, we decided to try composing a family poem. This was an interesting and lively challenge. It mostly involved the boys coming up with words they thought we should incorporate as we discussed themes of hurt, sin, salvation, and redemption. Benaiah also practiced his rhyming skills and came up with some phrases that worked and Megan of course wanted to utilize the word game. Most of the hard labor was done by Lance though; he was the poetic architect.

Though it is after Easter, we hope you can still read it and remember.

There and Back Again

A Lenten Tale

We are all made from dust
And behind us, beauty made ashes
Driven by greed and lust
Our souls writhe, mine thrashes

In my chest, my heart crashes
To others, I cause agony, my own despair
Against the innocent, my tongue lashes
Eyes squint against holy glare

At darkness rather, the sunken stare
Brows casting dark shadows on desire
Love given, love received, ever rare
Eye and hand and stomach conspire

Picking need-filling fruit from the mire
The bite that only brings shame
Draws the flickering flame to burning fire
Wrong around me, others to blame

Erecting farcical thrones, my unholy game
All beneath, small within my keen gaze
Though my passion's violence I try to tame
Mind's eye, each one, I set them ablaze

No, not one can stand while being appraised
Deeds of others displayed on my lofty hill
My own, concealed with in a dense haze
Touch it and hear me loud, and shrill

I stand alone, fortifications set with skill
Ambition driven, my soul lets none in
Who will dare enter my bastille
At all ends, I shall surely win

I stand alone, fortifications set with skill
Bound tight writhing in this snake skin
In the end a slave by my own will
All my best ends, pathways to sin

No, not one can stand while being appraised
Deeds rung up, I've received my bill
Concealing fog burned away by truth's rays
Vanity stripped bare, my tongue stands still

Erecting farcical thrones, my unholy game
Judgement's keen view, others pained by my ways
Violence unbridled, deed's testimony proclaim
Through judging others, its the eye's mind that decays

Picking need-filling fruit from the mire
Taste's variated diversions causing regret all the same
Pleasure snuffed, revealed as a liar
Wrong around me points to my name

At darkness rather, the sunken stare
Dark shadows, they demand and inquire
Love given, love received, hearts prepare
Freely accepting what flesh can't acquire

In my chest, my heart crashes
Damage caused, recognition of error
A repeat of what I've done, my will now clashes
Towards the holy gaze, set to Christ in prayer

We are all made from dust
And behind us beauty from ashes
Growing seed from rust
Our souls alive, with holy adorned sashes

What were our favorites from last year? Here’s our breakdown in no particular order.

Megan’s Top 3

1. Everything Sad is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri
2. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
3. Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Deibler Rose
4. Runner up: The Lost Year by Katherine Marsh

Lance’s Top 3

1. Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer
2. The Space Trilogy by C. S. Lewis
3. Lilith George MacDonald
4. Runner up: Blessed are the Misfits by Brant Hansen

Overall

Much to my angst, my normal reading this year has been interrupted by the textbooks of school. I do not begrudge this change too much however, as it is all for the good cause of continuing my education to gain more specific skills in our ministering and loving those we serve. In my other reading, it has mostly been a year of oldie-but-goodies that I have read multiple times. I think it was Lewis who said that you have never really read a book until you have gone back to it over and over again. He is also a major part of my re-reading this year. The boys and I have been slowly going through Narnia and it is as alive to me as ever. I also read the space trilogy again. These books are so important for our time now, as all the Space Trilogy evangelists will tell you. Blessed are the Misfits was a surprisingly helpful book for me. I would have not given it a second glance unless a friend went through it with me. I have always felt uncomfortable in different Christian settings, and this helped me understand that I was not alone. Finally, George Macdonald hits me in so many good ways and I owe to him a lot of my love for God and others through his writing… thanks again Lewis for the recommendation.

In our last email update, Lance had just arrived in Lviv, Ukraine for the national YWAM gathering called Razom, meaning together. It was such a great time for all the staff. It was important for everyone to come together, to see each other, hear what everyone is doing and how they are doing. The care team Lance is part of, held break-out sessions about caring for traumatized people and how to do simple group care. He also met with different people throughout their time. After the gathering, Lance went to Kyiv to meet with more people. It was a time well spent. 

Lance with the rest of the care team that came to Ukraine.

Lance with the national leaders in Ukraine.

With the Ternopil leaders.

On the way to Kyiv.

Lance with some of the staff from Kyiv.

Thoughts by Lance

As I start typing up this blog post. I receive another phone notification that Ukraine is under missile threat.  For the next 3 minutes of my typing, my friends and coworkers will be hearing air raid sirens. Some are checking their phones to see where the missiles have been fired from, gathering what they can about the kind of missile or drone it might be as well as projected trajectories.  They have done this so many times, they can calculate how many minutes it will likely take to reach where they are if it is coming their direction. This is now normal life in Ukraine. And the normalcy of this reality often makes me cringe. But another shift that I have been noticing is my language surrounding Ukraine and travel… And I don’t like it.

The last couple trips into Ukraine,… wow, I just did it… let me explain what I just did and restart this paragraph.

The last couple times I went to Ukraine, I started to realize that I have inadvertently adopted a language that I have never before used in context of travel to and from Ukraine. It was not an intentional shift nor have I seen it as a welcome one.  And sadly, it was not just me using this language.  Anyone going to Ukraine started unconsciously using it as well. We no longer say, we are going “to” Ukraine, we say we were going “into” Ukraine. What makes it even worse, now saying “I’m going to Ukraine” feels abnormal and insufficient. This may seem silly, but this frustrates me so much. So much so, I have been making a conscious effort to reinstate the proper preposition of “to” back into its rightful place.

Sure, we use into and to interchangeably very often to describe our going to some place. For instance, “Megan, I’m going into Irondale.”  It is natural and it works. But there is a difference, and that is context.  Irondale is not at war. There is not a distinct “being in” and “being out” of Irondale. Men in Irondale are not being stopped at the city limit and told they can go no farther.  Irondale is under no threat of missile attack that will come indiscriminately at any time in any apart of the city. If it was a place of combat and danger, “into Irondale” would be a very different meaning. You would probably stop saying “to” and exclusively start saying “into.”

I very rarely before used “into” to describe my going to Ukraine.  As I think about it now, when I would talk about travel, I would say I will arrive “in” or “to” Ukraine at such and such date, but rarely “into”.  So, what has changed?  The context Ukraine is in has changed. My relationship with the nation of Ukraine has had to shift. How I approach my going there and my staying in country has changed. It is so incredibly inconvenient to get there now.  The freedom of my movement and my friend’s movements have been hampered inside and outside. Before the war and after war started is strikingly different.  

But what has not changed?  My relationships there. My love for Ternopil. My love for the Ukrainian people that have changed me so much for the better. When I am here or there, relationally I am still in. We have never been out even when we have been here in the states. For me, to say “to” is relational openness. In the context of nations, it rings of freedom. Just like when my kids say, “we want to go to Grammie and Grandpa’s” or “I am going to Europe.”

“Into” compartmentalizes Ukraine into a mere conflict zone. A scary place that we must go “into” and “out of.”  It shortcuts our brain to make Ukraine an unsafe place that should be avoided. I know it is a small shift in language that may not mean very much to most people. But it means a lot to me.  Ukraine is not just a nation for me.  It is where I learned how to be a friend. It is where some of my deepest sense of purpose and community was fashioned. It is where Megan and I met and grew up as a couple.  It is worth changing my language for.

So, I am choosing to combat this language of separateness, of distance and of isolation. I will again, for my friend’s sake, do a small honor and say, “I will be coming to Ukraine as soon as I can.” My language will reflect my heart’s stance to this wonderful country. And here in the states, I will unashamedly say, again and again, I still love going to Ukraine. Missiles, drones and hatred may be coming into Ukraine, but I will always be coming to Ukraine.