Formational book review by Megan

4/5 stars

“People are slowly dying everywhere,” he said. “They are also continuously living. Every moment they draw breath, they can find the glory I put here on Earth, if they look for it.”

The Stranger in the Lifeboat looks at how the help we pray for may not come in the form we expect or want. When a luxury yacht sinks, a group of people in a lifeboat naturally pray for rescue but are surprised when they pull someone in that claims to be the Lord.

Reading as a Disciple

“I am here Benjamin,” he said. “Whenever you wish to talk.”

            How do I view Christ in the moments when I want help? I know I can so easily fall into the view of God as a vending machine that I come to when I need something and I just have to put in the right “amount” to get what I want. Some may have the same thought as a few characters in the story, “A group of shipwrecked people think they have God in the boat? Why not pin him down? Hold Him accountable for all the horrors He allowed in this world?” The Stranger in the Lifeboat takes a common habit or thought and turns it upside down. Christ is always near waiting for us. It is a simple thought to come to Jesus daily, not for anything specific but simply for conversation, relationship.

The story brought a simple reminder of the relationship that God desires with us and is so easy for us to join in.

Reading Communally

“… what we yearn for most is comfort.”

The story mainly follows two characters, each of whom need rescuing in different forms. The overarching story begs the question, “how do we help others?” How do we as believers, offer help and hope to the people around us? This is sometimes easy to answer but less easy to act upon. How do you help a man like Jarty in the story, an inspector who lost a child years ago and has been distant and lost since? Or someone like Benji, who is bent upon revenge, formed by hatred? It is easy to see someone struggling to carry groceries and think you can “help” them by carrying their load but it is a whole different ball game if help involves those who don’t know they need help or perhaps don’t want your help. Help does not have to come in concrete scheduled forms, as Albom brings to life in the book. Being close to others in their grief and frustration, despair and hatred, is part of living in a fallen world, living in the body of Christ. Being a shoulder to cry on is actually uncomfortable for most people, especially when you don’t know the person well. We want to do something concrete but simply being present in someone’s life is the most help we can offer.

Final Thoughts

“Those moments are a gift. But their end is not a punishment. I am never cruel, Benjamin. I know you before you are born, I know you after you die. My plans for you are not defined by this world. Beginnings and endings are earthly ideas. I go on. And because I go on, you go with me. Feeling loss is part of why you are on Earth. Through it, you appreciate the brief gift of human existence, and you learn to cherish the world I created for you.”

The book was an enjoyable read and kept my attention. It was beautifully laid out and organized in a way that did not give away the story but kept you reading. This could easily be a book club read or at least a book to read with a friend. There is plenty to discuss and compare and contrast. I did not give it 5 stars as the ending got a little muddled and confusing; there was a switch in thinking that had to happen, which took away from the story.

Other Mitch Albom books:

Tuesdays with Morrie

The Little Liar

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Formational book review by Megan

2/5 stars

“Maybe she has a brother.”
“Right. Sure. How do you know she has a brother?”
“How do you know she doesn’t have a brother?”
“Whatever. She probably doesn’t. Who hugs a brother?”
“I bet you she was just really sad. Maybe the Dud still hasn’t called her.”
“Whatever. Or she’s a slut.”
“How come you don’t like that girl…”
[…]
“Windy, all the girls here are sluts.”
“It’s just that that’s kind of… that’s kind of sexist.”

So first off, I don’t’ recommend this book. The only reason it is not 1 star is for the beautiful artwork. It is truly a story-telling masterpiece but the rest is… less than to be desired. I read it because it was listed as ‘if you liked Everything Sad is Untrue, you will like this book.’ False.

Disclaimer: This story has mature story elements of homosexuality, sex, attempted suicide, and strong language.

It’s set up as a classic coming of age story. Rose and her family go to the beach every summer but this summer is a bit different. Rose and her friend Windy get involved in some local love drama and Rose is juggling her own family drama. How does it all resolve?

**Spoilers below**

Reading as a Disciple

“Its because you always have to have everything YOUR way. You’re making everything sad. I bet you’re still trying to have a baby. Dad doesn’t even want one you know.”
“Rose that’s not-“
“Dad’s happy with just me. You don’t even want to be happy.”

One of the things that I didn’t like about this book was the insensitive dysfunctional relationship between the parents and their daughter Rose. This conversation proves just that. While some may say “that’s what real life is like, its just showing a real relationship between parents and their soon-to-be teenage daughter,” I don’t believe we need to have more examples of a dysfunctional family, we need stories that show hope for something more. This story leaves one feeling empty and hopeless. While there were many conversations, where I just wanted to say, “talk about it!” “tell her what happened!,” it was easy to see the shame that pervaded their lives and prevented honest conversations. Shame was a dark cloud over the family’s beach vacation that went on into their everyday lives. You feel the tension in Rose as she doesn’t understand and avoids hearing more from her parents. It is painful to see that her confusion and misunderstanding comes out in anger toward her mom and the girl Jenny. Her emotions are misplaced and jumbled up, it is important to keep in mind that God does not shy away from messy emotions and dysfunctional relationships. The Bible clearly shows many dysfunctional families being used for great things.

Reading Communally

“Who’s a slut?’
“No one!”
“Bit strange calling someone you don’t even know a slut.”
“Oh, well, these guys who knew these girls were calling them sluts.”
“Well, how is that okay?”

The story is clear that parenting needs to happen but because Rose’s parents are struggling in their own relationship; they’ve forgotten to care for their daughter. Rose’s mom declares, “I’m a zombie. I have these crazy thoughts. Like, I wish. I wish I was a little kid. So I could just scream and be mad. Its terrible to say, but I wish I could just… disappear.” She’s absent at a critical time in her daughter’s life. Everyone experiences times where they just want to disappear, be like Homer Simpson and melt into the hedge. But life continues on. Thinking communally, we need to be able to help those that are struggling. To come alongside and not be afraid of the cloud of shame that may hang over a person.

Windy was a good friend and was able to communicate to Rose several things but unfortunately, Rose didn’t handle the confrontation well. We need good friends to act as dissenting voices in our lives, people who will speak truth in love, even when we don’t respond in love. Especially as kids are turning into adults, they need someone to love them through their questions and offer gentle course correction.

Final Thoughts

The most frustrating part of this book is that nothing is resolved, there was no hope at the end. Usually a coming of age story includes a lesson that was learned, the protagonist is confronted with their ignorance and manages to gather their self-revelation into a new understanding of life and who they are. That doesn’t happen here. Rose never learns why her mom is emotionally absent and doesn’t want to swim, her and Windy never really make up, and Rose still holds her beliefs about Jenny to be true. The story ends there with Rose simply learning to stuff her emotions, not trust her parents and to drown her sorrows and confusion in R-rated movies. The organization of the story was brilliant though, so many parallels between the Jenny girl and Rose’s mom, the R-rated movies and the story of their lives, it was genius, just terrible content. There are better books out there.  

Other books:

I can’t recommend any books by the Tamaki cousins. Based on reading reviews and book overviews, they are full of similar themes.