Thoughts By Lance

Early on this trip, while on the Port Townsend to Sea-Tac airport bus, I took this photo. I sent it to a friend in Australia whom it reminded me of. We did photo club together. We lived and worked together in Ternopil. 

Then while on the Kingston-Edmonds ferry I remembered a conversation I had with a friend who lives in Gig Harbor, WA. We had a conversation on that same ferry a few months ago, and I looked at where we sat then. So I sent him a voice message.  We met in Europe and worked together in various places in YWAM. On that trip, we were on our way to see two other friends who were in Edmonds. One now lives in Edmonds, the other… globally. We all used to work together in Europe.

While at the Frankfurt airport, I sent a message to Megan about a “photo memory” that popped up on my phone from six years ago. It was Benaiah in our old apartment in Ternopil. I met Megan in Ukraine, and we worked together in Ternopil, now in Discovery Bay. I also sent a voice message to a friend who lives in Arizona.  We met and worked together in Kyiv.

At my hotel in Krakow, I sent a funny engineering fail video from my room to a friend of mine. I thought he would like that the vent fan for the stove went directly into the cupboard above. Just into the cupboard… He liked it like I thought he would. We work together at YWAM DB… Though he is moving soon. 

I’m currently on a train from Krakow to Przemesl (pronounced Pshemesh) texting an old friend who lives in Rzeszów (pronounced Zheshov), which is a stop along the way. We met and worked together in Ternopil. We are excited about maybe seeing each other at a friend’s wedding later in the year in Sweden. Our mutual dear friend lives in Sweden now. We both (literally) lived and worked with her in Ternopil.

I’m about to go across the border and jump in a car with friends whom I met and worked with in Ternopil. More than friends really. I’m really looking forward to our chat. 

Then I will arrive as a guest in the town I thought I would always call home. And in some ways it is home. But alone, without my family, it isn’t. I will be going to the sauna with friends tomorrow though, so it still is. 

My bags are full of things and food for friends… And even rocks from my hometown, picked by my parents on “Robert’s Hill”, for a friend’s aquarium. He, his wife and their pets live in Kyiv. We met in Ternopil before either of us were married.

Where is home? No longer is our stuff spread over 2 continents and 6 locations. It’s at least all in one state now… Except my bass guitar. It’s still in Ternopil. Should I get it now, or when the war ends? But now, so many of our friends, that were so close, are spread over states, countries and continents. 

Home is where you are rooted. I think sometimes home for Megan and I will be a longing and an ache. Home is learning contentment while rooting on ferries, in staff meetings, in Bible studies, and in the One who seems to be the central figure in all our rooting.  

How Your Brain’s Secret Circuit Affects Your Relationships- And How You Can Activate It

Formational book review by Megan

3/5 Stars

“My hope with The Joy Switch book is 1. You learn to recognize whether your relational circuit is working, 2. If not, you know how to use the Joy Switch to turn it back on, and 3. You learn relational habits to sustain the relational circuit so it works at its optimal range.” 

Author Chris Coursey lays out at the beginning his goal in writing the book. A very simple and direct goal, easy to lay out a plan and give direction for the reader. The book is directed at such an important part of our lives, relationships. We can’t avoid it. We have some kind of relationship with our family, spouses, co-workers and store clerks. Coursey says “The areas in our brain that govern character, emotions, and identity are all relational.” So that should make understanding and building/maintaining right relationships a priority, and as the book goes on to say, its hard to stay relational when joy levels drop.

Reading as a Disciple

“Once our relational brain shifts to enemy mode with God, we lose all ability to joyfully interact with another relational being. […] Approaching God when we are in enemy mode is an excellent way to ensure God feels distant because our brain is in the worst possible position for a relational interaction.”

The author Chris Coursey, is a believer and talks about faith and how it relates to joy and relationships throughout the book. I found it interesting when he said “Thinking about pain and hurts is a great way to remain in nonrelational mode with people and with God.”  It is so easy to do, we can replay events and words that hurt us in our minds and we struggle to find God in a situation. Coursey goes on to talk about how to stay relational with God and find His peace in these moments. Just as God instructed the Israelites to put up monuments to his faithfulness, we should also have times of looking back on when we enjoyed God’s presence and faithfulness and when we experienced His peace. Though our circumstances may not change, we will be in a better position to hear from God and accept His peace. 

Reading Communally

“Isolation makes unsuspecting victims more vulnerable.”

Again, this book was not just about us and our own ability to turn our Joy Switch on but also how to help others come back to a place of joy. Community and our connection to the body of Christ is critical. Experiencing negative emotions is normal and inevitable, what the book covers is how to help us return to joy quickly and this also applies to our relationship with others. If we are able to return to a place of joy, then we can help others. We can often get stuck though and struggle to return to joy. “This ‘stuckness’ leads to the loss of abilities we often take for granted, such as the ability to stay loving, kind, thoughtful, caring, considerate, compassionate, and generous. It means the unwelcome appearance of personality distortions like narcissism… Narcissism, the inability to shift out of enemy mode and process shame, robs joy and keeps people stuck in enemy mode.” Those are all things we easily experience on a bad day. This is also where addictions come into place because we are looking for joy substitutes, artificial, nonrelational replacements for comfort. 

The majority of the book is devoted to the habits that Coursey believes will help us return to joy quickly: connection, appreciation, rest and Shalom. 

Final Thoughts

The book is packed with great thoughts and insight into staying relational with others and God. What I enjoyed was the questions and practices offered at the end of each chapter. It’s a great way to keep the book practical and helpful. 

What I don’t like is that the book bordered on providing a cure or step-by-step approach to be joyful. While Coursey mentions very briefly that is not what this book is for, by using the imagery of a switch, he oversimplifies something to just being joyful or not. He mentions “there is a progression with different ‘relational shades’ like colors on a color wheel.” And later he says “the relational circuit is like a dimmer switch with shades of relational mode.” But it is too hard to not get the idea of on/off out of your mind when it’s in the title of the book and there is a big picture of a switch on the cover. This is misleading for the reader. There is no “cure” to doing away with negative emotions and remain in some euphoric state of joy. What Coursey does not go into is how negative emotions are not necessarily a bad evil thing, (Jesus experienced them,) but they are a normal part of being human. God can provide a way for us to navigate those seasons in our lives when the negative emotions seem to outweigh the joy. This book should be seen as only a small step or tool to navigating those seasons, not the cure. 

Other Chris Coursey books

The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages- we recommend this book!

The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled People

The 4 Habits of Raising Joy-Filled Kids

The Burden and Gift of Living

Formational Book Review by Megan

4/5 Stars

“… your life is a good gift from a loving God,”

This is the whole premise of the book. Our lives are a gift. Many people suffer from anxiety, depression, grief, or mental illness at some point in their lives or perhaps daily. But despite all the “fixes” the world has to offer, the choice is still ours to get out of bed in the morning. Living out our days by getting out of bed is actually a powerful testimony to our neighbors and friends to the goodness of God. 

Reading as a Disciple

“Suffering… is a normal part of human life.” 

There is a lie in the Christian world that when we become Christians, our lives should become beautiful and easy and that we shouldn’t suffer. 

There is nothing in the Bible to support that thought. Noble goes on to say, “tremendous suffering is the normal experience of being in this world. Beauty and love and joy are normal, too, but so is suffering.” Becoming a Christian does not give you immunity to the normal hardships of life. While this can be disappointing to some, it is also a gift. Noble argues that we give testimony to the goodness of God by simply getting out of bed and continuing with our lives no matter how difficult our circumstances may be. 

“When we act on that goodness by rising out of bed… we honor God and His creation, and we testify to our family, to our neighbors, and to our friends of His goodness. This act is worship.” 

We often look to the glorified testimony but we already have a testimony by continuing in God’s faithfulness. I should not seek out something special to “add” to my testimony but to simply live out my days as a disciple, faithfully honoring God. 

“Your task is not to feel right but to act right.”

In this day and age, there is an emphasis on feelings and validating people’s emotions but sometimes we have to continue on without the feelings. Noble says, “Sometimes that’s what peace is: an action based on faith and not an emotional state.” 

Reading Pastorally 

“You are not your own, and neither is your suffering.”

“This is hard teaching, but we are responsible for one another, even when we are in the midst of great suffering and sorrow.”

One of my favorite things of the book is the emphasis on community and being with others. We need the body of Christ, we are not little islands that make up a body, we are united in Christ and therefore to each other. The world tells us we can overcome our problems with XYZ and all we have to do is decide what is best for us but again, the problem here is that it falls back on us. Our desire to “fix ourselves” falls to us and therefore if we are not changed by whatever we decide to do, it’s our fault. This is island thinking.  

This book challenged me to not only be more open with my own sufferings but also to not shy away from others who are suffering. For many people, it feels awkward and uncomfortable to walk with someone in their pain. We don’t know what to do. “Let me know if you need anything” is the best we can muster. After reading this book, I am looking for ways to not shy away from negative emotions in others but to be that hand or person that will simply make sure you are not alone. 

“Enduring requires you to share your suffering with others.” 

“By knowing together as the body of Christ, we can both exhort and comfort one another when we feel irrational guilt and shame.” 

Final thoughts

“Usefulness is the sole criterion for the World, the Flesh, or the Devil. But you have no use value to God. You can’t. There is nothing He needs. You can’t cease being useful to God because you were never useful to begin with. That’s not why He created you, and its not why He continues to sustain your existence in the world. His creation of you was gratuitous, prodigal. He made you just because He loves you and for his own good pleasure.” 

We were created for God’s own pleasure.  There is nothing we can do to change his love for us, to diminish it or increase it, His love just is. And with that, we can continue to testify to His unconditional, never-ending love for everyone by simply getting out of bed and living out our days, especially when we don’t feel like it. 

Other Alan Noble books:

You Are Not Your Own

Disruptive Witness