“The law is important, Mex. Society cannot function without it.” “What if the law is wrong?” “What if the heart is wrong?”
Nowhere Boy is a story of a Syrian refugee in Belgium. He finds a cellar to hide in but is discovered by an American boy and the story follows their journey toward friendship and freedom. Marsh’s story compares the true story of a Belgian hiding a Jewish boy and addresses topics of when to disobey the law, or parents, smuggling, lying, and authority.
Reading as a Disciple
“What mattered wasn’t who you were. It was who you could be.”
Max is an American boy who has come to Belgium for a year with his family. He feels lost and alone in a place unfamiliar and struggles with his own identity, constantly comparing himself to his sister who seems to have it together. The book centers around finding your identity by helping and serving others. This is a great idea and one many people teach and strive for. But is that where we find our identity?
As disciples of Christ, our identity must come from Christ alone. It is not something I can choose and create out of my own liking. That would be a humanist perspective and what the rest of the world preaches; half of Disney movies are centered around this idea. What matters is that we look to God for identity, not our own aspirations.
Reading Communally
“People were always weighing their suffering against others’, not using it to form bonds.”
What if we were able to connect with others who are also suffering? When we are in the midst of the valley of despair we don’t usually think about others’ pain but this quote reminds us to set that aside and still move to connect with people and perhaps in that season of pain you can find a friend and person to lean on. Isolation is a friend of pain and it truly takes effort to not hide away from others when we are suffering.
Max was lost, without purpose, searching for his identity. He found purpose in helping Ahmed, if that was the right purpose can be left up to debate, but despite his decisions in helping Ahmed, it can still be said that he had the “courage to listen.” Something that many struggle with today, listening to those in pain, but it takes courage to stop our busy schedules to listen to what others have to say in the midst of their despair.
Final Thoughts
Overall a great book but I would recommend it to be read in a group, not necessarily for individual reading. There are so many topics to unpack and discuss: disobeying parents, when is it ok break the law, immigration policies, smuggling, authority, lying… It’s a good starting point for discussion on many topics but doesn’t go in depth when it might have been nice. The low rating was because the main character isn’t relatable or likable; it took a while to get into the book. It still has something to offer for YA readers.
Other books:
The Lost Year (on my to-be-read pile, story involves Ukraine!)
“People are slowly dying everywhere,” he said. “They are also continuously living. Every moment they draw breath, they can find the glory I put here on Earth, if they look for it.”
The Stranger in the Lifeboat looks at how the help we pray for may not come in the form we expect or want. When a luxury yacht sinks, a group of people in a lifeboat naturally pray for rescue but are surprised when they pull someone in that claims to be the Lord.
Reading as a Disciple
“I am here Benjamin,” he said. “Whenever you wish to talk.”
How do I view Christ in the moments when I want help? I know I can so easily fall into the view of God as a vending machine that I come to when I need something and I just have to put in the right “amount” to get what I want. Some may have the same thought as a few characters in the story, “A group of shipwrecked people think they have God in the boat? Why not pin him down? Hold Him accountable for all the horrors He allowed in this world?” The Stranger in the Lifeboat takes a common habit or thought and turns it upside down. Christ is always near waiting for us. It is a simple thought to come to Jesus daily, not for anything specific but simply for conversation, relationship.
The story brought a simple reminder of the relationship that God desires with us and is so easy for us to join in.
Reading Communally
“… what we yearn for most is comfort.”
The story mainly follows two characters, each of whom need rescuing in different forms. The overarching story begs the question, “how do we help others?” How do we as believers, offer help and hope to the people around us? This is sometimes easy to answer but less easy to act upon. How do you help a man like Jarty in the story, an inspector who lost a child years ago and has been distant and lost since? Or someone like Benji, who is bent upon revenge, formed by hatred? It is easy to see someone struggling to carry groceries and think you can “help” them by carrying their load but it is a whole different ball game if help involves those who don’t know they need help or perhaps don’t want your help. Help does not have to come in concrete scheduled forms, as Albom brings to life in the book. Being close to others in their grief and frustration, despair and hatred, is part of living in a fallen world, living in the body of Christ. Being a shoulder to cry on is actually uncomfortable for most people, especially when you don’t know the person well. We want to do something concrete but simply being present in someone’s life is the most help we can offer.
Final Thoughts
“Those moments are a gift. But their end is not a punishment. I am never cruel, Benjamin. I know you before you are born, I know you after you die. My plans for you are not defined by this world. Beginnings and endings are earthly ideas. I go on. And because I go on, you go with me. Feeling loss is part of why you are on Earth. Through it, you appreciate the brief gift of human existence, and you learn to cherish the world I created for you.”
The book was an enjoyable read and kept my attention. It was beautifully laid out and organized in a way that did not give away the story but kept you reading. This could easily be a book club read or at least a book to read with a friend. There is plenty to discuss and compare and contrast. I did not give it 5 stars as the ending got a little muddled and confusing; there was a switch in thinking that had to happen, which took away from the story.
“Maybe she has a brother.” “Right. Sure. How do you know she has a brother?” “How do you know she doesn’t have a brother?” “Whatever. She probably doesn’t. Who hugs a brother?” “I bet you she was just really sad. Maybe the Dud still hasn’t called her.” “Whatever. Or she’s a slut.” “How come you don’t like that girl…” […] “Windy, all the girls here are sluts.” “It’s just that that’s kind of… that’s kind of sexist.”
So first off, I don’t’ recommend this book. The only reason it is not 1 star is for the beautiful artwork. It is truly a story-telling masterpiece but the rest is… less than to be desired. I read it because it was listed as ‘if you liked Everything Sad is Untrue, you will like this book.’ False.
Disclaimer: This story has mature story elements of homosexuality, sex, attempted suicide, and strong language.
It’s set up as a classic coming of age story. Rose and her family go to the beach every summer but this summer is a bit different. Rose and her friend Windy get involved in some local love drama and Rose is juggling her own family drama. How does it all resolve?
**Spoilers below**
Reading as a Disciple
“Its because you always have to have everything YOUR way. You’re making everything sad. I bet you’re still trying to have a baby. Dad doesn’t even want one you know.” “Rose that’s not-“ “Dad’s happy with just me. You don’t even want to be happy.”
One of the things that I didn’t like about this book was the insensitive dysfunctional relationship between the parents and their daughter Rose. This conversation proves just that. While some may say “that’s what real life is like, its just showing a real relationship between parents and their soon-to-be teenage daughter,” I don’t believe we need to have more examples of a dysfunctional family, we need stories that show hope for something more. This story leaves one feeling empty and hopeless. While there were many conversations, where I just wanted to say, “talk about it!” “tell her what happened!,” it was easy to see the shame that pervaded their lives and prevented honest conversations. Shame was a dark cloud over the family’s beach vacation that went on into their everyday lives. You feel the tension in Rose as she doesn’t understand and avoids hearing more from her parents. It is painful to see that her confusion and misunderstanding comes out in anger toward her mom and the girl Jenny. Her emotions are misplaced and jumbled up, it is important to keep in mind that God does not shy away from messy emotions and dysfunctional relationships. The Bible clearly shows many dysfunctional families being used for great things.
Reading Communally
“Who’s a slut?’ “No one!” “Bit strange calling someone you don’t even know a slut.” “Oh, well, these guys who knew these girls were calling them sluts.” “Well, how is that okay?”
The story is clear that parenting needs to happen but because Rose’s parents are struggling in their own relationship; they’ve forgotten to care for their daughter. Rose’s mom declares, “I’m a zombie. I have these crazy thoughts. Like, I wish. I wish I was a little kid. So I could just scream and be mad. Its terrible to say, but I wish I could just… disappear.” She’s absent at a critical time in her daughter’s life. Everyone experiences times where they just want to disappear, be like Homer Simpson and melt into the hedge. But life continues on. Thinking communally, we need to be able to help those that are struggling. To come alongside and not be afraid of the cloud of shame that may hang over a person.
Windy was a good friend and was able to communicate to Rose several things but unfortunately, Rose didn’t handle the confrontation well. We need good friends to act as dissenting voices in our lives, people who will speak truth in love, even when we don’t respond in love. Especially as kids are turning into adults, they need someone to love them through their questions and offer gentle course correction.
Final Thoughts
The most frustrating part of this book is that nothing is resolved, there was no hope at the end. Usually a coming of age story includes a lesson that was learned, the protagonist is confronted with their ignorance and manages to gather their self-revelation into a new understanding of life and who they are. That doesn’t happen here. Rose never learns why her mom is emotionally absent and doesn’t want to swim, her and Windy never really make up, and Rose still holds her beliefs about Jenny to be true. The story ends there with Rose simply learning to stuff her emotions, not trust her parents and to drown her sorrows and confusion in R-rated movies. The organization of the story was brilliant though, so many parallels between the Jenny girl and Rose’s mom, the R-rated movies and the story of their lives, it was genius, just terrible content. There are better books out there.
Other books:
I can’t recommend any books by the Tamaki cousins. Based on reading reviews and book overviews, they are full of similar themes.
“How can you explain why you believe anything? So I just say what my mom says when people ask her. She looks them in the eye with the begging hope that they’ll hear her and she says, ‘because it’s true.’
Why else would she believe it?
It’s true and it’s more valuable than seven million dollars in gold coins, and thousands of acres of Persian countryside, and ten years of education to get a medical degree, and all your family, and a home, and the best cream puffs of Jolfa, and even maybe your life.
My mom wouldn’t have made the trade otherwise.
If you believe it’s true, that there is a God and He wants you to believe in Him and He sent His Son to die for you- then it has to take over your life. It has to be worth more than everything else, because heaven’s waiting on the other side.”
Everything Sad is Untrue is a beautiful story of an Iranian family that fled to Oklahoma. The story is told in the style of 1001 Arabian Nights and from the perspective of the author as a twelve-year-old boy. Nayeri weaves the story from his great-grandparents to himself, into one tale of strength and belonging.
Reading as a Disciple
“There are gods all over the world who just want you to express yourself. Look inside and find whatever you think you are and that’s all it takes to be good. And there are gods who are so alien to us, with minds so clear, the only thing to do would be to sit at their feet and wait for them to speak, to tell us what is good.
A god who listens is love.
A god who speaks is law.
[…]
Love is empty without justice.
Justice is cruel without love.”
Mercy and justice are two topics that can actually be divisive. It’s been on personality tests, “which is more important, mercy or justice?” as if you can only show one or the other but not a mix. Americans tend to be more focused on justice, what is right or wrong. It is not always so easy though. God is the perfect mix; he shows perfect justice and absolute love. Nayeri writes of how this is blended and brings it all together with “I think He’s a God who listens as if we are his most important children, and I think He speaks to tell us so.” When we have experienced an injustice, we want justice. When we have experienced hate, we need love. God sees the big picture and knows the best timing for what we want and who needs what.
“Why should anybody live with their head down? Besides, the only way to stop believing something is to deny it yourself. To hide it. To act as if it hasn’t changed your life.” God’s love has changed our lives because he showed us mercy when he should have shown us justice. It is good to read a story of persecution to be reminded of the price that has been paid. “She wanted everybody to have what she had, to be free, to realize that in other religions you have rules and codes and obligations to follow to earn good things, but all you had to do with Jesus was believe he was the one who died for you.” Such a great summary of the Gospel and simple reminder to readers of what our faith is all about.
Reading Communally
“A patchwork memory is the shame of a refugee.”
Refugees are also another difficult topic for Americans to address. This book was full of evidence of that, believers and unbelievers alike. How can we welcome the foreigner? Everything Sad is Untrue has many stories of how Nayeri’s family endured the switch to living in the states, unfortunately, so many stories of how they were not welcomed. Empathy may never be achieved but we can still show sympathy for those that are in a new land, different from their own, having to relearn simple tasks such as grocery shopping and even using a toilet.
“Sometimes when you’re a refugee, you have to give up the dignity you’d have if you said, ‘you know what, thank you, but no thank you. Your son treats my son like a dog, and your daughter says, ‘ew,’ if we get near her, and we appreciate how smiley you are, but we’ll figure out some other way to attend school.”
As believers, we shouldn’t force newcomers to give up their dignity but instead treat each person we meet with dignity and respect. Each individual holds intrinsic value because they are imago dei, the image of God. Everything Sad is Untrue tells many stories of how some people may perceive something but actually there is so much more going on. We do not know the whole story for each person we meet. We must rely on God to fill in the gaps of knowledge between us and give grace to each other. As Episcopal priest Timothy Jones wrote in an article for Rabbit Room, “we are persons made to flourish through the affection and presence of others.” We are not meant to be alone.
Final Thoughts
I loved this book because, while I am most definitely not a refugee, I sometimes feel like a foreigner in my native land and can identify with some of the sentiment expressed by Nayeri. We have taught our kids what imago Dei means and work to instill in them that each person is made in the image of God and therefore their life is valuable. This lesson becomes real when we meet someone different from us; refugees are an easy example. This book was refreshing in not only how it was written but also the story of hope and resilience.
Also by Daniel Nayeri:
The Many Assassinations of Samir, Seller of Dreams
Other books on refugees:
Somalia- When Stars Are Scattered by Omar Mohamed
“In a refugee camp, you are always reminded of the things you have lost. It is a valiant and agonizing struggle to focus not on what you have lost… but on what you have been given.”
Vietnam- Inside Out and Back Again by Thanha Lai
Syria- Nowhere Boy by Katherine Marsh
*Have not read any of these books… yet. (Two are on my bedside table)
(Update: Finished When Stars Are Scattered June 17)
(Update: Finished Inside Out and Back Again July 4)
(Update: Finished Nowhere Boy September 8, read my thoughts on it HERE.)
“Courage is the will to lay aside fear because your desire to do right outweighs your desire to avoid getting hurt. You said you were frightened of the panther.”
“Terrified.”
“Then why didn’t you run away?”
Frightened though he had been, Aidan never even considered that possibility. “I couldn’t leave Dobro to be eaten by a panther. I couldn’t leave my sheep either.”
Bayard smiled. “You felt fear. But you didn’t act out of fear; you acted out of courage. Dobro was fearless. You were courageous, which is a much better thing to be.”
The Bark of the Bog Owl (TBOTBO) is a retelling of the story of David with a southern flair. The story follows Aidan Errolson, the youngest of 5 boys, who is relegated to watching the sheep in far off pastures. He longs for a courageous and adventurous life but the most adventure he gets is fighting off a panther with his sling. That is until the Pyrthen Empire lands on their shores. If you know the story of young David (I Samuel 16 & 17) than you will know the gist of this story. There are some twists and creative license is taken as should be expected.
Reading as a Disciple
“But I don’t feel like the Wilderking.”
“How is a Wilderking supposed to feel?” asked the prophet.
“I don’t know. I don’t suppose anybody knows. There’s never been a Wilderking before.”
“Precisely. None but you can say how a Wilderking feels. You are the only one.” He poked a finger into Aidan’s chest for emphasis. “And you don’t have to feel anything in particular.”
Bayard leaned toward Aidan. “Let me tell you a secret, Aidan.” He looked over his shoulder as if making sure no one was listening, then whispered, “I don’t usually feel like a prophet.”
We are often driven by how or what we feel in the moment. It is easy to do; sometimes we give in to our feelings (I make an extra batch of cookies because I feel like it,) sometimes we don’t have a choice (I’m still a mom whether I feel like being one) and other times we just don’t (I decline an extra helping of dessert even though I do want more.) Feelings are used to make decisions big and small. This exchange in The Bark of the Bog Owl, is a beautiful lesson in not making decisions based solely on how we feel. We don’t need to feel something special to do something great or small, we need to be obedient with what is in front of us. This same conversation continues later,
“What if I am destined to be the Wilderking? How should I live?”
“The same way you should live if you weren’t the Wilderking. Live the life that unfolds before you. Love goodness more than you fear evil.”
The same can be said of believers, to live the life that God has put before you. Love goodness in your workplace, in your school, in your home. In this era, where we can be pushed to pick a side, it is easy to forget it is more important to love goodness more than what we fear. By loving goodness around us, we can point others to a good God who loves us. But… loving goodness is a choice and we often won’t feel like it.
Reading Communally
“The doubt, actually was easier than belief.”
Just as loving goodness is a choice, so also is belief in the face of doubt. Doubt can be easier because it leaves room to settle for failure; it leaves room to save face if your belief turns out to be false. Hesitation, uncertainty, confusion, indecision are all synonyms for doubt, none are ones we want to be used to describe us. Doubt comes more easily when faced with discouragement and questions from those that are older and more experienced than us. Rogers does a great job of showing the brothers’ doubt and anger at their insolent brother desiring to do what is right. Our doubt and unbelief can have a huge ripple effect for others around us. The Bible gives many examples of doubt changing a community, look at the Israelites, doubt led to a golden calf being built! By Aidan choosing belief, he was able to rally the Corenwalders from their stupor.
The longing to belong can give way to peer pressure. Not only can it be difficult to stand alone when everyone around you doubts, it is hard to stand out and be confident. In TBOTBO, the Corenwalders want to impress the Pyrthens and be accepted by them; but instead “the Corenwalders’ attempts at imitation seem all the more clownish.” How easy it is to lose our sense of belonging and identity. The story continues to address the identity of the Corenwalders as a nation and their struggle to keep it.
Final Thoughts
Overall I enjoyed the book despite already knowing the general storyline. It was mostly predictable but there were a few surprises thrown in. It will be interesting to see in the other books, how Rogers tells the story of David and at what point the trilogy ends. The Bark of the Bog Owl is a great read aloud for families and provides plenty of conversation starters.
